The Closer I Get To You....and OTHER Lessons Learned From Madison Square Garden

Read Isaiah 6:1-7

At this stage of my life - for many, many, MANY reasons - I've become increasingly more dependent upon the worship and praise of my Father. Like, He's not simply viewed as a "great idea", anymore.  I NEED Him like a child needs their parent. Truth is...I've always needed Him. But recently....let's just say that there's no doubt, now. And that's great! That’s dope! 100% Humbling. Pride-lessed. Faith-filled. But GREAT! And just to clarify - by “worship” I simply mean: the submission of all of me to all of Him, i.e. His holiness; His Truth; His beauty; His love, will and purpose. All of this gathered up in adoration is the greatest expression of which we are capable. I picture myself holding onto His “leg” like a child holds onto his big, strong, protective Pops. As of late, I've systematically; one after the other - been letting go of all I can't control (as well as some things I've consequently deceived myself into thinking I could control) and have rather begun holding on desperately to the only One who's capable of brilliantly and effortlessly controlling everything. Sidebar: I keep getting this visual of how former Knicks coach Jeff Van Gundy held on to Alonzo Mourning’s leg in that brawl at Madison Square Garden years ago. ‘Memba that?  I mean, my situation is far less funny, though. Similar desperation....but far more peace & blessed assurance than what I'd imagine Van Gundy felt in the moment. ;)

True worship is NOT bringing God closer to us.  Rather, it is us yielding ourselves and allowing God to bring us toward Himself. Worship is a way of seeking God's face; seeking his presence. And consequently...to be honest wit’chu...to be in God's presence means to be laid bare and exposed. There is some straight up divine paint stripping that happens when you come into the presence of Holy God. You see yourself for who you truly are. When Isaiah came into God's presence, for example, he dropped straight to his face and said, “Woe is me for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips.....For my eyes have seen the King, The Lord of hosts."  He confessed and acknowledged that what came from his lips revealed what was already deep in his heart — sin. The light of God's presence will always expose sin and darkness. When Isaiah saw a vision of the Lord in His holiness he could only fall on his face in brokenness and humility.

Whenever in Scripture someone is brought into the presence of Almighty God, they see the vast distance between God and themselves. They recognize the infinite contrast of their sinfulness verses God’s holiness and is broken of self.  One of the hardest things for a person to do is to face oneself with the holiness of God - to face oneself in the pure, unsullied light of God - and let God's Spirit search into the avenues of the mind and the imaginations of the heart, into the purposes of one's life and to let God see all the wrong, the evil and the self-seeking that are there.

Authentic worship will always have TWO expressions: #1 awe before the Holy God and #2 brokenness & shame from revealed sin and an exposed self.  The closer Jeff Van Gundy got to Alonzo Mourning, as he held on to the this superior athlete's leg - the smaller and the more helpless, I'd imagine, Van Gundy felt.  The reality of his weakness, in comparison to Mourning, was put on blast...if to no one else but him.  Similarly in worship, God lays bare our sin....yet He also provides His remedy for sin: HIMSELF.  Yeah....being in the presence of God's glory exposes sin but it also leads us to repentance and transformation if we will respond properly in humility.  (Cor.7:10) It is only after that humbling; that brokenness of self the the Father cleanses us and gives us a new outlook.  Now, we're ready to serve! :) (Isaiah 6:8)

The closer I get to Him....

The less foggy I am toward the reality of the nature of my sin....

The clearer I see myself for who I really & truly am.

Check it

This is far from being self-deprecating, I assure you

And more akin to self-realization

See

I get that it really should've been me

Nailed to that tree

My hands for His hands

My feet in exchange for His feet

Bound to that old-rugged cross on Calvary...’cept it wasn't me.....

The more lucid my Savior's face becomes

The more I recognize that it is I who am truly undone

And who deserved to be the one

Hung

Strung to a cross...that old rugged cross....

The closer I get to You, Lord

The more I understand why it had to be You, Lord - the Perfect & unblemished Lamb

You who bore all my sin

And needed to die.

Cuz fact is, even when I'm kinda, sorta feelin' myself and am so dope in my own eyes,

Truthfully....

I'm so unattractive

My good deeds are so much like filthy rags

It's embarrassing

It's madness

When compared to the only standard that matters

Yours

So how dare I get mad when someone doesn't treat me in a way that I think they should have?

The audacity of me!

What arrogance I must keep to measure someone else’s deficiency against my own tragically flawed axiom

While daily and purposely falling grossly short of Your perfect banner

The manner in which I coddle my own bad habits

My stank attitude...and bury it under

Excuse after excuse after excuse

Astounds me

Especially while in the very next breath my propensity for grace regarding someone else's blatant fallacies and mistakes is sorely lacking

What a wretched bastard, I am!

Yet

THANK YOU, Father, for not seeing past it

Yes

Thank YOU for having the fortitude; the authority and perfect justice to hold me to that unreachable yet perfect standard

Seeing me for exactly the man I truly am

You made it obvious to me that I needed you by showing me what I cannot do

But now, by your redemptive Blood, You actually regard me as grasping Your love ballad

Thank You, Heavenly Father, for seeing & defeating the death within me and declaring that You’ve mastered it!

(sing)

The closer I get to You.....

The more You’ll make me see

Like giving me all You’ve got

Your love has captured me.............

"The more holy a man becomes the more conscious he is of unholiness." ~ Charles Spurgeon


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"For if we are beside ourselves [mad, as some say], it is for God and concerns Him; if we are in our right mind, it is for your benefit." ~ 2 Corinthians 5:13 (Amplified Bible)